We often hear about them, we have a rough idea of them sometimes, and then we either pursue them, bail on them, or forget about them completely. Especially this time of year (New Years Resolutions anyone?).
When it comes to goals I've found there are really 2 types of people:
The Doers and the Don't-ers.
The Doers tend to set goals and work non-stop obsessively in the pursuit of them. Now, working non-stop is not synonymous with successfully achieving the goal or even working towards the goal. Many people drown themselves in busy work and call it working towards a goal. Anyone scroll through Instagram in the name of research, or is that just me?
The Don't-ers, well, they don't really set goals, and there can be many reasons why. If I don't set them I won't be disappointed when I don't reach it. I'm not sure I'm ready to commit so I'm just going to try it out. Or, my personal favorite, I don't like having an agenda - I'm a free spirit like that. (I call BS!)
Do you find yourself in either of these camps? Perhaps a mix of both?
Here's the thing: neither of these approaches are inherently bad, but neither are productive, or even good, especially on the psyche.
For the Don't-ers: passively living life is not living life.
If you don't know where you're going you're most likely not moving.
The day in and day out can become monotonous because you're not working towards anything. Life is happening to you and you're not creating your life. Have you ever had that moment where you've gone, 'Holy Crap! I've been at this temporary job for 5 years?!' The job was temporary because you had bigger aspirations, somewhere else to be, something else to do. And yet, here we are, 5 years later in the same place. (This is very different than working that side hustle while staying at the temporary job or actively searching for the new job, building the skills, getting the education or experience, etc.)
For the Doers: work smarter, not harder.
Have you ever heard of the 80/20 rule? It applies to everything. We wear 20% of our clothes 80% of the time. We spend 80% of our time with 20% of the people we know. And 20% of our actions make up 80% of our success. You know how there are a lot of diets out there that tell you to cut out all the things? And then you work out 5 times a week. Well, 20% of the things you're doing are accounting for 80% of your success. Why not just focus on the 20%? If you're building a business or already own a business 80% of your revenue comes from 20% of your services or even advertising. Why not just focus on the 20%? I'm going to dive into this more next week, but my point is: stop obsessing about all the things. Obsession over a goal is not healthy. Focus - yes. Obsession - no.
A goal is a place to come from, not get to.
I'm going to say that again: A goal is a place to come from, not get to. A mentor of mine, Rich Litvin, reminded me of this recently. Can you feel how much weight is lifted when you approach goals this way?
When it comes to goal setting we often set ourselves up for failure. Yay us! We are either too generic (I want to lose weight and tone up) or we are attached to a specific outcome (I want to lose 45lbs by February and be able to run a 10k in 30 minutes).
Specifics are good. Attachment not so much.
We want to set SMART goals.
Specific. Measurable. Attainable. Relevant. Time-Bound.
Specific: Who, What, Why, Where, Which.
Measurable: Able to track your progress.
Attainable: Make your goal ambitious, but not outrageous.
Relevant: Why is this important to you? How does this help you get where you want to go?
Time-Bound: Nothing gets done without a deadline or schedule.
So we set our SMART goal: I want to run a 10K in June of 2020.
And that's where we come from. Our choices from here on out are based on this goal. Perhaps come June I'm feeling ok with a 5K perhaps I'm feeling up for a half marathon. There's no failure in goal setting when it's the place you come from - the place that guides you - and when you're operating from that there's also no obsession. There's no busy work. Does this action get me closer to or further away from my goal? Closer to - I'm in! Further away - no thank you.
Have you been feeling stuck? Are you exhausted from overworking?
What goals do you have for yourself? How can you set SMART goals moving forward and practice coming from them? Leave me a comment or hit Reply, and I'm happy to help you refine and pursue those goals!
Next week we're stepping deeper into that 80/20 rule and some goal achieving processes.