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Letting go is the quickest way to decrease stress and increase joy.

Seems pretty obvious, I know.

But how often do you actually do it?

If you were with me back in January, you know that my "New Year Resolution" was to Let Go. Let go of the idea of control; let go of trapped emotions; let go of old patterns.

But HOW do you do it?

(That's a question I'm asked often: but how do I let go?)

Take a deep breath.

Now let it go.

To let go you have to stop holding on.

You have to stop replaying, you have to stop focusing all your attention on whatever it is you want to let go of.

You have to stop entertaining it.

To actually let go of something:

You must accept it.

Acceptance is what is holding you back from letting go.

Acceptance does not mean 'liking' it. It does not necessarily mean agreeing with it.

It does mean, it is what it is, or, I am where I am; what happened is what happened.

Too often, we spend our time replaying a circumstance, a conversation, a situation in which we feel we were wronged. Ruminating, to prove to ourself how wronged we were!

(Which is rather odd, is it not? Being upset that we were wronged, then making ourselves feel better by replaying it, justifying our 'right-ness' about being angry/sad/put down/etc, but feeling bad about the situation again and again. We make ourselves relive one moment of hurt over and over. We do it to ourselves! Anyway...)

Every time we do this, we are resisting the moment. We are resisting what happened.

...which moves us further away from acceptance and letting go.

That which you resist persists. That which you resist owns you.

That moment, that circumstance, that situation, that conversation - the more you resist its occurrence, the more the occurrence owns you. The more you think about it, the more you're training your brain to think about it.

To get to a place of acceptance, do as you would with any emotional circumstance:

1) Examine your part - you always play a part in any interaction.

2) Examine what you're feeling: angry, sad, fearful, shameful, etc. Name it.

3) Feel the feeling. In your body - not thinking about it - feeling it.

4) Find 7 other interpretations of the the situation. Your emotional response is stemming from something inside of you - a trigger. A trigger, or emotion, is not a 'fact'. It is an interpretation. It is a message to you that something needs to be explored. Maybe it's healing; maybe it's stronger boundaries. Maybe it's both. But that is an inside job. It's your responsibility.

5) Move your attention. When that circumstance, that interaction, pops back into your head, move your attention. STOP entertaining the thought.

When you can learn to accept, rather than resist, what is happening, you are able to let go of it. Letting go is what allows you to move forward, to forge new paths, to create new habits or ways that serve your higher being.

You know what to do. Sing it with me now...

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